“My heart’s been torn wide open, just like I feared it would be, and I have no willpower to close it back up.” – Marie Lu
Pretty much how I felt after a recent breakup. Torn wide open. My heart, my hopes for the future, my …everything. For awhile I was numb. Wanted to just not feel. Anything. Tried to distract myself. Tried not to cry. Tried not to think about him. It sucked.
I needed a way to express my grief. And a reminder that these times, when I’m most tested, is when I most need to live my values, practice what I preach. It’s an opportunity.
Ok, so here’s my result. A big bright WIDE OPEN and TORN APART heart. There is no blue here, only brightness. The canvas is THICK af with paint, applied with a palette knife, as if I was frosting a cake.
And if you look close, there are little red platelets floating across the top of the canvas too. Courtesy of Picasso.
He’s my studio mouse. I used to lay my paintings down to dry on a plastic sheet across the floor. One morning I woke and was checking out my work from the night before. There were mouse tracks across the painting! It first I was SO MAD.
A few of the really messed-up places where this stupid mouse was slip-n-sliding thru my painting got fixed up. But some I left there. Cause somehow it fit to have my heart walked all over too haha!
So then of course I forgave him for “messing up” my masterpiece, named him Picasso, and thanked him for his contribution.
Just as I forgave my ex for leaving, and thank him for his contribution. Because “Until the heart opens and the eyes begin to see there is always the danger of blindness and narrowness and the tendency to hold onto narrow ways of being.” – Michael Meade
Yeah, it still hurts, but the future is bright now that my heart is WIDE OPEN. I can hear now, in the quiet. My eyes begin to see. I believe ALL of me has become wide open to new ways of being. I am alive to LOVE, attached to nothing and no one, expanding exponentially… stay tuned, you never know where and how I’ll get turnt up!
“Open Heart”, oil on canvas, 36″ x 24″ x 1.5″ is available, call or email me to purchase her if she calls to you!